Carl went very still.
“He looks like Daniel.”
In all the years I’d been married to Carl, I’d never seen him look like he looked in that moment.
“I thought,” he whispered, “I thought this was buried.”
“What does that mean?”
He covered his face with both hands. When he finally looked up, his eyes were red.
“I thought I buried this secret along with our son. I wanted to protect you from everything, but you need to know the truth.”
“What truth? Carl, what are you talking about? What secret did you bury with Daniel?”
“I thought this was buried.”
“Not Daniel, exactly. Yes, I thought when he died that I didn’t need to hold it anymore, that… that I could seal all the heartache away…”
Carl broke off then and let out a heart-wrenching sob.
I stared at him. In all our time together, I’d never once seen Carl cry. But his tears weren’t the main reason for the scream I felt building in my throat.
Because if he wasn’t talking about Daniel, then there was only one other possibility.
“Carl. What did you do?”
I’d never once seen Carl cry.
“When… when Daniel was born, he was strong, but the other baby, his twin, wasn’t breathing right. They rushed him straight to the NICU.”
I stared at him. “You never told me that.”
“You were unconscious, losing blood. The doctors were trying to stabilize you. It was the most frightening night of my life. When the doctors asked me to sign forms for the other boy, I just did it. Then the social worker came.”
“What social worker?”
“She… she wanted to talk to me about a neonatal placement program. For babies with very poor odds of surviving. She said sometimes families chose placement when the outlook was uncertain.”